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Memo, May 19 2003 TO: CSB Did you happen to notice that Alfred Molina is signed to play Doctor Octopus in Sam Raimi's Spiderman sequel? Like officially, he's playing the part? Wacky, eh? It's an odd choice, and personally, I would have cast Paxton. You know who I would have cast as Dolarhyde? Paxton. And as Chuck Barris? Paxton. Paxton in the morning, Paxton in the evening. Paxton looking worried about something. Paxton's just kidding you. Paxton doesn't like you, but he still kind of likes that he doesn't like you. Paxton's got a big shit-eating grin! Paxton Paxton Paxton! Yes... I've joined the Bill Paxton Achievers, i.e. the people whose very mission in life is to pronounce every film's improvement with the casting of Paxton. In fact, Star Wars Episode 3 should clearly have every single character played by Bill Paxton. Including Yoda and Jar Jar Binks. In fact, EVERY movie should have Paxton play every part, including The Godfather, Apocalypse Now: Threepeat, and Thelma and Louise. PAXTON! Okay, it was like this. I needed my Paxton fix (he's like methadone... man!) so I watched Near Dark. Odd, kind of goofy and sloppy, occasionally inspired movie. But the Paxton was excellent. Still, I needed more. So I went out and got Aliens... and thought, what the hell, I need to set it up, so I rent Alien as well. So I watch Alien, which was a reminder of how great a film that is. I'm beginning to think that what a director really needs to do is maintain tone and judge emphasis. Probably the hardest task. Now even though I think Aliens is in the top twenty best genre films ever (not least for its really incredible structure and pacing), I have to admit that every Alien sequel is doomed to ultimate failure in the face of one simple and unavoidable truth: No Yaphet. Anyway, I watch Aliens, and it strikes me 1) James Cameron is intelligent enough to really pull off these great movies, but he is a dumb-ass sentimentalist to rival Spielberg. The only difference is Spielberg's sentimentality seems to come from a discomfort with ambiguity and a desire to make his children sleep easy, and Cameron is just a smart 13-year-old trying to pontificate. Ah, Cameron, romanticizing divorce. Cameron is essentially the ultimate cheap shot director. With finesse and skill, but still with the love of the cheap joke. The penultimate popcorn film-maker. Whether it's Paxton peeing himself in True Lies or The Terminator saying "I need a vacation," his films all stem from the same gee whiz a roller coaster film-making that America seems to constantly crave, and that is so rarely really delivered. The fact that he does deliver has to be in SPITE of such painfully forced moments as the spitting contest in Titanic or Ed Harris (who originated Eddie in Fool For Love) saying "But then you realized this new guy, the stuffed shirt, doesn't make you laugh," as if no one had ever said that to their ex before. And why are the Marines in Aliens and the crew in The Abyss all so locker room obnoxious? Some of those lines are dubbed in, you can tell the ADR, and dammit, do we really need three or four lines of sarcastic "I'm impressed" comments? For TWO scenes in a row? Won't one do fine? Some actors have to say remarkably dumb things in Cameron films, and it seems like some people transcend it (Sigourney Weaver, Paul Reiser as a scumbag is inspired, Lance Henriksen) others can't escape it (did he tell the Marines to hi-five and fake laugh on EVERY line?) Which brings me to 2) Michael Biehn is such a fucking badass! I got so jazzed watching Hicks that I went and rented The Abyss. He's fucking awesome! His subtle reluctant hero shit is so cool, then he pumps up the bonkers act and he's just as cool! I read that Fox had tried to push him for best supporting actor for the Abyss, and even though I can see why the Academy wouldn't bite, still.... he's so fucking great! And only Cameron seems to give him the great parts. Did you notice that he gets bitten on the hand in every Cameron movie? I think by a girl, too, although it might be Ed Harris biting him in The Abyss, I suddenly can't remember shit. I think I hear Ratner trying to chew through the ropes again--I have to go. Bring me more rope, and don't forget to tell people how to get in touch with us. |